Hello banda!
As promised, here comes my last email. It’s been a hard week–probably the hardest week of the last two years. Don’t get me wrong, it’s been a week full of joy and full of miracles. I’ve loved it. It’s also been a week of a lot of lasts. A very spiritual last District Council, a very special last talk in Sacrament Meeting, and plenty of others. I’m sad to see this special time go.
The past couple weeks, and especially this week, I have been consistently overcome with tears. Tears of gratitude for the experiences I had and the people I’ve met over the last two years. Tears of joy for the personal growth I’ve had, for the gift of forgiveness and of divine love, and for my deeper, personal relationship with my Savior. Tears of sadness for all of the goodbyes to some incredible friends that I’ve made here. Tears of amazement for these two incredible past years the Lord gave me.
I’ve struggled over the last couple weeks with feelings of doubt about whether I’ve done enough, what more I could have done, have I really changed, and a million other things. I’ve found deep peace knowing that, while I haven’t had a perfect mission and while I’m still very far from a perfect person, my heart was in this work and with my Savior, and I did my best. I had higher, holier goals, desires, and ideals, and I worked my hardest at achieving everything the Savior had planned for me.
For the majority of my mission, I was guided by two verses from the Book of Mormon, in Enos 1: 26-27, that unofficially hold the title as my favorite scripture ever:
“[I have] been wrought upon by the power of God that I must preach and prophesy unto this people, and declare the word according to the truth which is in Christ. And I have declared it in all my days, and have rejoiced in it above that of the world.
And I soon go to the place of my rest, which is with my Redeemer; for I know that in him I shall rest. And I rejoice in the day when my mortal shall put on immortality, and shall stand before him; then shall I see his face with pleasure, and he will say unto me: Come unto me, ye blessed, there is a place prepared for you in the mansions of my Father.”
How I long to hear those words at the end of my life as I felt them at the end of these two amazing, hard, life-changing years. I haven’t been perfect, but I’ve certainly rejoiced more in Jesus Christ, His love, and His words in the last two years than the world and it’s distractions.
I hope those two verses will guide the rest of our lives as both a goal and a plan. I know it will guide mine. I hope we each hear those words of love and peace from our Savior at the end of our lives. I know I’ll never stop pressing towards that mark.
So, if you don’t know whether to serve a mission or not, or when to serve, do it. Just serve. There is no faithful sacrifice that the Lord won’t compensate hundredfold. I am so grateful for these life-changing, refining, and joyful two years.
Anyways, it’s been amazing. I’ll tell you a lot more about it and the lessons the Lord has taught me soon! My brother Logan and I will give our combined farewell/homecoming on August 9th at 10 am! Hope to see you then at 1535 Bonneview Drive, Salt Lake City, UT. There will be food afterwards at my house, whether you come at 10 or not! Come and say hi, I’d love to see you!
Until then, I’d love to say hi and hear from you! I hope you’ll forgive my miserable ability to respond consistently to emails. Text me at 801-935-0616 and lets talk! I promise to respond sooner than later.
Anyways, I’m sad to see the end of more than a hundred weekly emails. I’m sad to see an amazing chapter close, and excited to start a new, and another amazing, chapter of life. Tomorrow I will see my family. Life is good!
I love you all. Thank you for your prayers. Thanks for reading (or skimming) these emails for the last two years! It’s been a great ride. I can’t wait to see you. It’s a very bittersweet moment, but I find peace knowing that my Heavenly Father has a time and place for everything, and that I fulfilled His will for me during the past two years. I wouldn’t trade them for anything. I am ready to fulfill His will during the next!
I love you. I’ll keep praying for you. Thanks for coming along! Text me, let’s catch up!
Have a great week. I’ll see you soon!
Signing off,
Elder Crockett
